Housekeeping: Vote or DIE in the Droppies. Go visit some of our friends at their new endeavour, Style Points. Also, consider this goal when considering the vote.
Now, I need to disect something Fire Joe Morgan-style, because I couldn’t believe it when I read it. This article is the one in question. To the Snark Machine!
Premier League planning for financial crackdown
On everyone but Liverpool, Arsenal, Manchester United and Chelsea.
The government has welcomed the Premier League’s move to get tough on clubs under a raft of new rule changes aimed at providing greater financial clarity and safeguards within the game.
The government is glad someone is stepping up and taking some goddam responsibility for their own stupidity, for a change. Or so it would seem.
Clubs could be forced to sell their star players and other valuable assets if they fail more stringent financial tests expected to be ratified by the board next month.
Define “stringent”? Clubs that don’t play in Manchester, Merseyside or London? Okay then.
Premier League chief executive Richard Scudamore does not believe there will be a situation where a top-flight club suffers from insolvency but he is ready to hit clubs with severe penalties if any of the elite are found guilty of financial failure in future.
Gee, thanks for that, Dick. Of course that situation could exist. It exists in Spain right NOW. Again, what are these “severe” penalties? Taking points? There are already rules on the books about clubs that go into administration losing points. What more can you do?
Scudamore was responding to a letter in October from Andy Burnham, the Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport, concerning finances at, and ownership of, football clubs and a spokesman for his office said: “We are encouraged by the Premier League’s response, in particular the proposed changes that will lead to greater financial transparency surrounding the running of football clubs including a strengthened ‘Fit and Proper Person’s’ Test.
Oh, this is the “Mike Ashley” rule. I see now. Well, guess who’s going to buy Newcastle if they go down? KEN EFFING BATES! Another low-life who led Leeds right into administration. Don’t fool yourself, Dick. You’ll take anyone’s money, you took Shinawatra’s word, you’ll deal with anyone. Don’t try to fool anyone with this “fit and proper person” bullshit. Oh, and the West Ham situation? Guess what? You were almost 100% responsible for them owing Sheffield United money since you convieniently said that Tevez and Mascherano’s ownership shady-ness wasn’t a problem. Turns out, it WAS a problem.
“We will continue our dialogue with football on the detail of these proposals and look forward to forthcoming responses from the Football Association and Football League,” he said.
“If we can ever get hold of Abramovitch, I’m sure he’ll be right on board. He’s a great lad, that Roman. Let me come aboard the new Death Star, eh, er, yacht. Lovely thing, really. Had a champagne spigot of some sort. I don’t really remember much more than that, though.”
The Premier League responded to Burnham’s questions by insisting that sanctions are just one of the new measures aimed at ensuring clubs survive any possible financial meltdown.
“Oh, your Lordship. Why yes, of course we plan the harshest possible, er, sanctions.” Please. I would dearly love to see them question the Glazers on their books, but if United win the League/Champions League double again this season, I wouldn’t hold my breath waiting for that day, folks. No one questions Fergie.
“It’s more about putting other sanctions upon them and that will be for the board to decide what the appropriate sanction is,” Scudamore added.
Fantastic. The “board” will decide the “sanctions”. Now that some clubs are talking about paying players 200 thousand British Pounds per week, we’ve all of a sudden decided this is a problem. What sanctions can you possibly impose on a club that might be in financial difficulty? Relegating them? If so, see you later Chelsea, United and Liverpool, and probably Arsenal as well. Enjoy the Coca-Cola Championship until you get your books sorted.
“It might be no transfers, it might be forced sale of players, forced sale of assets, there must be other things you can do to keep the club alive, because the most important thing is to keep the club in existence.”
It might be no more lavish 150 thousand pound Christmas parties or holidays in Dubai, too. The filthy buggers are always jetting about and having slappers showing up to Christmas parties. Nip this thing in the bud now, Dick. I beg of you.
The Premier League have proposed 10 rule changes aimed at tightening-up the governance of clubs at the highest level. They want to reduce the risk of another ‘Leeds’, who collapsed into insolvency after gross overspending in the early part of this decade and were relegated in 2004.
Oh, the risk of another Leeds. How about Charlton? How about Leicester City? How about Nottingham Forest? How about Millwall? How about…oh, never mind. Keep bringing up Leeds. You DID let Ken Bates buy back in, by the way. Just pointing that out.
“What happened to Leeds is what should happen to Leeds if you run the club like that,” Scudamore added. “It’s tough on Leeds fans. But what these rules envisage is the football authorities getting involved earlier in that process, a bit more interference in that process. Not to prevent it, but to reduce the chance of that happening. If a club has overstretched to get a competitive advantage, if you get yourself in financial difficulties, it should unravel.”
Let me make sure I understand this. Manchester United are over 650-750 million pounds in debt, but NOW it’s a problem? Chelsea’s debts have been reported at 740 million pounds, but NOW it’s a problem? Okay. Just checking.
The Premier League are also looking to enhance the ‘early warning system’ by asking clubs to submit future financial information and to improve the transparency of ownership by amending the rules to require disclosure of any interest in a club above 10%.
Okay, fine, you don’t want shady consortiums. That I can understand and it makes sense. It doesn’t address the problems at hand, but whatever, have at it.
Other significant rule changes include making anyone ineligible for directorship if they have been convicted of a one-year prison sentence for any offence. Individuals who are banned from entering the UK or whose assets are frozen will also be barred from taking up a club directorship under the proposed changes.
Dr. Shinawatra was wanted in his own country when he got control of City. These Icelandic blokes were pretty dodgy financially when they got hold of West Ham United. Aye caramba.
So there you have it. Agent Dick Scudamore is on the case, folks. I’m sure all this financial falderall will be settled posthaste. Cheers.
